so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
