I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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