I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
