The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
