how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
