I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
