Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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