Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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