whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
