I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Randomize
