just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
