: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
