first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
