I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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