He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
