would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
