just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
