i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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