put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i want to swaddle you in tequila
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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