Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
