I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
