Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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