I don't think brook has ever known best
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
