what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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