The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
