I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
