It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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