Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
My Sexting was not on an AP level
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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