I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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