wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
