mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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