I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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