I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I am full of burrito and curiosity
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
