You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
how drunk are you?
Several
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
