do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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