I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
