You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
