I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize