if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize