I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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