when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
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I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
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Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
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