Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
