you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
