There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
