I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
