All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
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I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
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I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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