My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
