So drunk, too bad you don't want this
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
