I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
