what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...