I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not