Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.