I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
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First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
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I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.