You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
