dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
