Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
