Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
