So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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