:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize