p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
