i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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