It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
