I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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