She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize