I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
it's like iHOP with fire
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
