i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
